DJ Khaled; "Standing on the Mountain Top"

Turn your TV on I bet all you see is me

The new richest man in the world after leaving the Casino "I can't believe the odds were really 1-1 that DJ Khaled is on every channel and 10,000-1 that he wouldn't be"

In fact if DJ Khaled is even on 1 channel when I turn my TV on I am usually suprised and Tivo it since it may never happen again, but I also mute it because all he does is yell the same 3 words.

W_ , T_E, _ES_........see if you can guess the blanks.

File Under: Worst bookie ever, completely false statement

Post #7

Notorious B.I.G; "Me & My Bitch"

When I met you I admit my first thought was a trip,

ya look so good I'd suck on your daddy's dick

No one has ever gone on a date and the first thought that enters their mind is sucking their date's fathers dick....EVER. This fantasy does not increase regardless of how good the woman looks in fact the better the woman looks the less you should be thinking about old men's genitals.

File Under: Extremely Gay, Likely to leave dinner early to get home to see your dates Dad, Worst Date Ever

Post #6

Young Jeezy; "I'm so Paid (Remix)"

She said Young why ya voice so hoarse

I just sound like money baby I shoulda been a Porsche (Vrooom)

You cannot sound like money because it does not make a sound, and if it did that sound would not be hoarse. Also you could never be a Porsche because that is a car and you are a person and clearly you never got the memo that Transformers was a movie. The entire analogy is turrible, like saying you should be a DVD player because your voice is raspy and you sound like a bag of pencils.

File Under: Turrible analogy, no common sense

Post #5

Mystikal; "Here I Go"

My lifestyle is rural, I'll hit on your poodle.

Not only do you not speak for the rural community but in a list of things you shouldn't be hitting on a poodle is found near the top, between plastic palm trees and your own reflection in the mirror.

File Under: Shouldn't Have Pets, Needs the Sex Talk

Post #4

DJ Quik; "Dollaz +Sense"

Now, I never had my dick sucked by a man befo'

but you gone be the first, you little trick-ass ho,

then you can tell me just how it taste

Calling a man a trick-ass ho does not make him a woman, it still makes him a man and he still has a dick and that still makes you and this lyric extremely gay. Then not only that but your pillow talk afterwards is enough to make Perez Hilton vomit.

File Under: Extremely gay, a trick-ass man is still a man

Post #3

Rick Ross; "I'm Only Human"

Never knew chocolate milk make you fart real bad (Naw!)

This is more childish than anything a 3rd grader could even think of saying, not only is this beyond childish it is simply not true.

Filed Under: So childish, making the Nesquik bunny look bad

Post #2

Mase; "Can't Nobody Hold Me Down"

We spend cheese, in the West Indies
Then come home to plenty cream Bentleys
You name it, I could claim it
Young, black, and famous, with money hangin out the anus

First of all no one in the West Indies barters with cheese, second of all your money that has skidmarks all over it will rarely be accepted anywhere, thirdly I never knew someone could do homoerotic things with dollar bills but thank you for assuring me they could Mase.

File Under: Doing gay things with money; making ridiculous statements

Post #1