Eminem; "As the World Turns"

Cause I murdered my Guinea Pig and stuck him in the Microwave

After that it was straight to the 40 ounces, slappin teachers

and jacking off in front of my counselors

That Guinea Pig must have really fucked with your brain dude, do not let Eminem house sit for your pets or let him substitute teach.

File Under: Calm the Fuck Down

Post #42

Fabolous; "Make Me Better"

First things first I does what I do

If this was the first thing someone said to me I would turn and walk away and assume they had dropped out of 2nd grade.

File Under: Learn to speak, Elementary Dropout

Post #41

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 4

I always knew that Sean Kingston looked like a ginormous baby but this chain makes him seem like a 10 year old who is about to start 4th grade. I have no idea how he can think that this is either cool or even worth hanging around his neck at all. And who would even be dumb enough to make this is in the first place. Absolutely one of the worst things I have ever seen.

Post #40

Young Jeezy; "National Anthem"

Half a Mill a year and it's all on Nike's Hundred Grand a year and it's all on White Tee's

Either you own about 75000 white tee's and 5000 pairs of shoes or you are shopping at the complete wrong stores.....either way you are making turrible decisions. Maybe there is a reason your next album was called The Recession

File Under: Don't Lend Jeezy Money, Bad Personal Shopper

Post #39

Jay-Z; "Do You Wanna Ride"

You know why they call the Projects a project?, because it's a Project!

This sounds like it should be a public service announcement and not in a rap song. Actually on second thought it doesn't really need to be said at all.

File Under: Don't Hire Jay-Z as a Detective

Post #38

Mase; "Shut the City Down"

I'm hotter than the weather in May

I guess this means that you are slightly better than average and not quite that hot at all. Your insecurity is as high as the temperature in July however...

File Under: So insecure, Bad Analogy

Post #37

Nelly; "Grand Hang Out"

I'm really thinkin of changin my name to Krispy Kreme

You should really think about NOT doing that because that would be a terrible name and no one will ever take you seriously again.....Really????

File Under: Someone needs to tell you your an idiot

Post #36

Lil Wayne; "I'm Me"

Unfuckin believable Lil Wayne's the president, fuck 'em fuck 'em even if they celibate.

If this is true let's hope that second part NEVER becomes a law.

File Under: Change no one can believe in, Thank God for checks and balances

Post #35

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 3

So when people think of the most Gangster chains they can come up with to outdo other people usually they think of something unique.....Gucci Mane has come up with not only something unique but also something NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER WANT

Bart Simpson hanging from your neck makes you match perfectly with the backpacks of 6th graders on the first day of school if they have no friends.

"I know he a NERD", spoken just like Gucci Mane would say it

Post #34

Ghostface Killah; "It's Yourz"

I love him with Root Beer thoughts

Unless you are a character from a Dr. Seuss book or you are talking to a 5 year old then I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Are Root Beer thoughts the same as Ice Cream feelings and Orange Smiles or do those fall under a different category????

File Under: What is going on, Say Something Real

Post #33

Mike Jones; "Scandalous Hoes"

I watch my back when I'm walkin, I watch my mouth when I'm talkin

I bet you also watch your eyes when your lookin and your ears when your hearin..... there is no point to rapping about this so you should just not say it at all.

File Under: Makes no sense, Don't put this in your song

Post #32

Trina; "Here We Go"

Sounds like, Blah, blah, blah, blah, bla, blah, bla, I'm like uh, huh, uh, huh, okay, okay Whassup, whassup, shut up

When my 6 year old cousins come over for Christmas and argue over their presents they sound 100 times smarter and make better points than Trina does. People that are both blind and deaf are better at having conversations.

File Under: Grow Up, Say a Real Sentence

Post #31

Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg; "Fuck Wit Dre Day"

Gap teeth in ya mouth so my dicks got to fit (Dre)

With my nuts on your tonsils (Snoop)

If anyone ever needed counseling it is going to be the person that this happens to since they are obviously going to be damaged for life.

Snoop Dogg however sounds like the scrawny kid in the back of a gang fight who does absolutely nothing but then once it's over goes "ya and take that" as he walks away.

File Under: Too Graphic, Do not date either of these 2, Turn the other way when they are walking towards you

Post #30

Jay-Z; Blueprint 3 Cover

Here's the new cover for Jay-Z's new album due out in September, it's the first one without his face on it.

Post #29

Redman; "5 Boroughs"

My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh) A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)

Hmmm 5 x 12 = 36, someone apparently never passed elementary math.

File Under: How did no one on the label notice this????

Post #28

Song of Da Munf- August

Sometimes the overall ridiculousness of a song can't be summed up by one quote. These lyrics can be funny, stupid, dirty, outrageous, or maybe even a combination. Regardless the end result is the "Song of Da Munf". Enjoy.

Post #27

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 2

So just buying toy cars is no longer enough, now Soulja Boy has decided to get a chain made that also doubles as a remote control car, I don't think target is going to be carrying these in stock.

Here's the video of Soulja Boy driving the car in his hotel room

Vrooom Vrooom

Post #26

CunninLynguists; "Filthy Nasty"

"Word to the holes on my socks and my nose full of snot"

It's not cool to give a shoutout to things that you obviously should have taken care of when you got dressed in the morning. The only way you could sound more childish is if you said "word to the girls with cooties and my shorts full of doodies".

File Under: Written in Crayon, When is Naptime

Post #25

Lil Wayne; "Suck it or not Remix"

I'm hot like light

No you are not, learn what words mean before you say them so things such as fast like pizza or smart like scissors do not come out of your mouth in the future.

Your teeth however are bright like light

File Under: Bad analogy, Needs to learn what words mean

Post #24

Eminem; THE WARNING (Mariah Carey Diss)

Eminem released a so called "warning shot" today at Mariah Carey and vows to follow up as long as obsessed gets airplay,

click below for the video

Eminem The Warning

Post #23

Rick Ross; "Speedin"

We own things

So do I, so does my neighbor, even homeless people own something. You are not telling us anything we do not already know.

File Under: Pointless to Say, You seem like everyone else

Post #22