Rich Boy; "Top of the World"

10 million dollars make an ugly muthafucka cute

Correction, 10 million dollars make an ugly muthafucka a rich ugly muthafucka but you are still ugly.

What kind of grown man refers to himself as cute?

File Under: Your bank account doesn't change your looks

Post #47

Trey Songz; "Successful" (Drake Track)

I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothers, the hoes, I suppose

You don't have to want these things, if your not sure then it is really not worth your time to try to get them if you are going to be dissatisfied later. I don't think that there is any way to sound more unsure of yourself especially on a song called successful.

File Under: Doesn't Know What He Wants, Can Be Convinced of Anything

Post #46

Jay-Z; "Run This Town"

This is la familia, I'll explain later

No, if your gonna start talking finish your damn sentence, its like trying to keep a fourth grader on task.

File Under: Make Up Your Mind, Think What you Want To Say Before You Talk

Post #45

Lil Wayne; "Lollipop Remix"

cause I was leavin skid marks on, ev'rywhere I sit

Then you should probably do two things. First of all wipe your ass

when you are finished, second of all maybe you should put you

pants back onbefore you sit down, this would help solve your

problems.

File Under: Basic TP training, Don't let Lil Wayne sit on your

white couch

Post #44

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 5

Is it just me or does having a giant gold bracelet of an Eagle on your wrist just make it a fuck-ton harder to do absolutely anything. No clue why anyone would ever try to rep this.

Post #43

Eminem; "As the World Turns"

Cause I murdered my Guinea Pig and stuck him in the Microwave

After that it was straight to the 40 ounces, slappin teachers

and jacking off in front of my counselors

That Guinea Pig must have really fucked with your brain dude, do not let Eminem house sit for your pets or let him substitute teach.

File Under: Calm the Fuck Down

Post #42

Fabolous; "Make Me Better"

First things first I does what I do

If this was the first thing someone said to me I would turn and walk away and assume they had dropped out of 2nd grade.

File Under: Learn to speak, Elementary Dropout

Post #41

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 4

I always knew that Sean Kingston looked like a ginormous baby but this chain makes him seem like a 10 year old who is about to start 4th grade. I have no idea how he can think that this is either cool or even worth hanging around his neck at all. And who would even be dumb enough to make this is in the first place. Absolutely one of the worst things I have ever seen.

Post #40

Young Jeezy; "National Anthem"

Half a Mill a year and it's all on Nike's Hundred Grand a year and it's all on White Tee's

Either you own about 75000 white tee's and 5000 pairs of shoes or you are shopping at the complete wrong stores.....either way you are making turrible decisions. Maybe there is a reason your next album was called The Recession

File Under: Don't Lend Jeezy Money, Bad Personal Shopper

Post #39

Jay-Z; "Do You Wanna Ride"

You know why they call the Projects a project?, because it's a Project!

This sounds like it should be a public service announcement and not in a rap song. Actually on second thought it doesn't really need to be said at all.

File Under: Don't Hire Jay-Z as a Detective

Post #38

Mase; "Shut the City Down"

I'm hotter than the weather in May

I guess this means that you are slightly better than average and not quite that hot at all. Your insecurity is as high as the temperature in July however...

File Under: So insecure, Bad Analogy

Post #37

Nelly; "Grand Hang Out"

I'm really thinkin of changin my name to Krispy Kreme

You should really think about NOT doing that because that would be a terrible name and no one will ever take you seriously again.....Really????

File Under: Someone needs to tell you your an idiot

Post #36

Lil Wayne; "I'm Me"

Unfuckin believable Lil Wayne's the president, fuck 'em fuck 'em even if they celibate.

If this is true let's hope that second part NEVER becomes a law.

File Under: Change no one can believe in, Thank God for checks and balances

Post #35

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 3

So when people think of the most Gangster chains they can come up with to outdo other people usually they think of something unique.....Gucci Mane has come up with not only something unique but also something NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER WANT

Bart Simpson hanging from your neck makes you match perfectly with the backpacks of 6th graders on the first day of school if they have no friends.

"I know he a NERD", spoken just like Gucci Mane would say it

Post #34

Ghostface Killah; "It's Yourz"

I love him with Root Beer thoughts

Unless you are a character from a Dr. Seuss book or you are talking to a 5 year old then I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Are Root Beer thoughts the same as Ice Cream feelings and Orange Smiles or do those fall under a different category????

File Under: What is going on, Say Something Real

Post #33

Mike Jones; "Scandalous Hoes"

I watch my back when I'm walkin, I watch my mouth when I'm talkin

I bet you also watch your eyes when your lookin and your ears when your hearin..... there is no point to rapping about this so you should just not say it at all.

File Under: Makes no sense, Don't put this in your song

Post #32

Trina; "Here We Go"

Sounds like, Blah, blah, blah, blah, bla, blah, bla, I'm like uh, huh, uh, huh, okay, okay Whassup, whassup, shut up

When my 6 year old cousins come over for Christmas and argue over their presents they sound 100 times smarter and make better points than Trina does. People that are both blind and deaf are better at having conversations.

File Under: Grow Up, Say a Real Sentence

Post #31

Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg; "Fuck Wit Dre Day"

Gap teeth in ya mouth so my dicks got to fit (Dre)

With my nuts on your tonsils (Snoop)

If anyone ever needed counseling it is going to be the person that this happens to since they are obviously going to be damaged for life.

Snoop Dogg however sounds like the scrawny kid in the back of a gang fight who does absolutely nothing but then once it's over goes "ya and take that" as he walks away.

File Under: Too Graphic, Do not date either of these 2, Turn the other way when they are walking towards you

Post #30

Jay-Z; Blueprint 3 Cover

Here's the new cover for Jay-Z's new album due out in September, it's the first one without his face on it.

Post #29

Redman; "5 Boroughs"

My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh) A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)

Hmmm 5 x 12 = 36, someone apparently never passed elementary math.

File Under: How did no one on the label notice this????

Post #28

Song of Da Munf- August

Sometimes the overall ridiculousness of a song can't be summed up by one quote. These lyrics can be funny, stupid, dirty, outrageous, or maybe even a combination. Regardless the end result is the "Song of Da Munf". Enjoy.

Post #27

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 2

So just buying toy cars is no longer enough, now Soulja Boy has decided to get a chain made that also doubles as a remote control car, I don't think target is going to be carrying these in stock.

Here's the video of Soulja Boy driving the car in his hotel room

Vrooom Vrooom

Post #26

CunninLynguists; "Filthy Nasty"

"Word to the holes on my socks and my nose full of snot"

It's not cool to give a shoutout to things that you obviously should have taken care of when you got dressed in the morning. The only way you could sound more childish is if you said "word to the girls with cooties and my shorts full of doodies".

File Under: Written in Crayon, When is Naptime

Post #25

Lil Wayne; "Suck it or not Remix"

I'm hot like light

No you are not, learn what words mean before you say them so things such as fast like pizza or smart like scissors do not come out of your mouth in the future.

Your teeth however are bright like light

File Under: Bad analogy, Needs to learn what words mean

Post #24

Eminem; THE WARNING (Mariah Carey Diss)

Eminem released a so called "warning shot" today at Mariah Carey and vows to follow up as long as obsessed gets airplay,

click below for the video

Eminem The Warning

Post #23

Rick Ross; "Speedin"

We own things

So do I, so does my neighbor, even homeless people own something. You are not telling us anything we do not already know.

File Under: Pointless to Say, You seem like everyone else

Post #22

Bizarre-D12; "Fight Music"

You know why my hands are so numb? (No?), Cause my grandmother sucked my dick and I didn't cum

There is really no explanation for how this should ever be brought up or spoken to anyone ever anywhere.....not that it matters anymore but this wouldn't make your hands numb, so take off your steak showercap and stop rapping.

File Under: Did he just really say that!!??

Post #21

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week

So this is some random guy named Skool Boy, yah I know what your thinking you've never heard of him either.....well now at least you know something about him, it's just too bad that all you now know is he really enjoys his Frosted Flakes

This is the only song I could find by him, notice he also has a Captain Crunch cereal box chain so at least he mixes it up a little bit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikKAkemlB0&feature=related

Post #20

T-Pain; "I'm a Flirt"

Turns out I had to show you guys 2 photos of T-Pain

That's why they call me Teddy-bend-her-ass-down

I guarantee no one has ever called you this and no one will ever call you this...this is exactly why self-appointed nicknames will never work

File Under: Terrible with names, Terrible with picking outfits

Post #19

DJ Gallo- Worst Athlete's Lyrics

As a fan of sports and rap I had to post this; DJ Gallo (a writer from ESPN) just put this up and it chronicles some of the worst word vomit I've ever seen. I could fill about 40 posts from these alone but it's easier and more entertaining to just read them all at once.

Post #18

A Tribe Called Quest; "Scenario"

Bust a nut inside your eye, to show you where I come from

I don't think semen is different where you come from so if you could just even tell us straight up where your from or ANY other option thatd be preferred

File Under: Didn't pass third grade geography or anatomy

Post #17

Juvenile; "Slow Motion"

You Must've heard about them hoes that I beat up in my house

Well before the song I had not, but now that you have let me in on your little secret and told everyone I think that the police will finally be wrapping up that assault case they have been looking into.

File Under: Best informant ever, do not tell Juvenile your secrets

Post #16

Hurricane Chris; "Hand Clap"

They lookin at me crazy cuz I bounce around the club n' I keep clappin my hands like im tryna kill a bug

File Under: Tourettes?

Post #15

Nelly; "Na-NaNa-Na"

Sex in the country, you know sex in the Zoo di-rectly behind the monkeys

Monkeys do not live in the country nor is there a zoo in the country but the fact is that there is not a less romantic place to take a girl than directly behind the monkeys. The only time that you should ever try to have sex with a girl behind the monkeys is......oh wait that should never happen or be an option

File Under: Dirtiest place ever to have sex, Least Romantic date ever

Post #14

Eminem; "My Name Is"

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up, Flashed the bartender, and stuck my dick in the tip cup

Why are you walking around with only a coat on and nothing else??? And unless that bartender did something to you, your dick is a terrible tip to leave since I assume you will be taking it with you when you get hauled away by the police. Oh and by the way the only people who should ever be naked in strip clubs are the strippers.

File Under: Being a complete dick, Needs to go clothes shopping, Learn how to properly tip

Post #13

Petey Pablo; "Jam Y'all"

These girls scandalous, got holes in they panties,
Got big behinds like Frankenstein,
Breathe smell just as shitty,
And meatballs on they titty,
And scrambled eggs down 'tween they legs.

What kind of ridiculous standards does this guy have for the girls he hangs out with? If I met a girl at a party who had holes in her panties, meatballs on her titties, and breath like Frankenstein I would start to question the type of parties I was going to.

File Under: Worst Standards Ever, Attracted to Frankenstein's Ass

Post #12

Plies; "Bust it Baby Pt 2"

But while she sleep I sneak in and put hickies on her neck

So basically you are breaking into people's houses to suck on their neck and then leave, I thought that only happened in Vampire movies??? You are on the fast track to a stalking/rape/breaking and entering charge so don't rap about this. Also it is clearly obvious you have the mask for breaking and entering but you may want to lose the 75 lbs. of jewelry the clanging from that will wake people up.

File Under: So Creepy, Going to Jail, Vampires

Post #11

R. Kelly; "I'm in Love With a Stripper, (remix)"

I wanna stick it wanna kiss it, if I could I'd put my whole damn head in it

Well yah, I get the first two parts and thats fine but what happened between kissing it and putting your head in it? That is A) absolutely gross, B) would you even want to continue hooking up with this girl because no one on earth will.

Here's a tip, if you "could" do it, you should probably stop and just drive home, trust me that's not something you even want to get involved with.

File Under: Being extremely weird in bed, Never going to have a second date

Post #10

Cam'ron; "Suck it or Not"

You won't hear words like marry me, the only thing you gonna hear is suck it or not

I got something for your face fuck proactive

I know it's white but here comes the hotsauce

Would you like a tissue, you gonna need it for the cum in your nose cause your suckin my cock

I'm pretty sure any girl who goes out with Cam'ron is going to pick the second option and continually say "not". And the chances of any date Cam'ron actually goes on lasting more than 30 minutes is probably zero, especially once Cam'ron tells a "funny" story about hotsauce, tells his date about this new facewash or offers a kleenex to his date on the ride to dinner with a wink.

File Under: Worst date ever, Being too Forward

Post #9

Jay-Z; "Big Pimpin"

I got no patience, and I hate waiting

Thank you for clarifying what you meant by no patience, the repitition is so unnecessary in this lyric. It's the same as John Wayne Gacy saying "I'm a murderer, and I kill people" or someone saying "My job is a pilot, oh and I fly planes."

File Under: Unnecessary Repitition, No example needed

Post #8

DJ Khaled; "Standing on the Mountain Top"

Turn your TV on I bet all you see is me

The new richest man in the world after leaving the Casino "I can't believe the odds were really 1-1 that DJ Khaled is on every channel and 10,000-1 that he wouldn't be"

In fact if DJ Khaled is even on 1 channel when I turn my TV on I am usually suprised and Tivo it since it may never happen again, but I also mute it because all he does is yell the same 3 words.

W_ , T_E, _ES_........see if you can guess the blanks.

File Under: Worst bookie ever, completely false statement

Post #7

Notorious B.I.G; "Me & My Bitch"

When I met you I admit my first thought was a trip,

ya look so good I'd suck on your daddy's dick

No one has ever gone on a date and the first thought that enters their mind is sucking their date's fathers dick....EVER. This fantasy does not increase regardless of how good the woman looks in fact the better the woman looks the less you should be thinking about old men's genitals.

File Under: Extremely Gay, Likely to leave dinner early to get home to see your dates Dad, Worst Date Ever

Post #6