Mase; "Shut the City Down"

I'm hotter than the weather in May

I guess this means that you are slightly better than average and not quite that hot at all. Your insecurity is as high as the temperature in July however...

File Under: So insecure, Bad Analogy

Post #37

Nelly; "Grand Hang Out"

I'm really thinkin of changin my name to Krispy Kreme

You should really think about NOT doing that because that would be a terrible name and no one will ever take you seriously again.....Really????

File Under: Someone needs to tell you your an idiot

Post #36

Lil Wayne; "I'm Me"

Unfuckin believable Lil Wayne's the president, fuck 'em fuck 'em even if they celibate.

If this is true let's hope that second part NEVER becomes a law.

File Under: Change no one can believe in, Thank God for checks and balances

Post #35

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 3

So when people think of the most Gangster chains they can come up with to outdo other people usually they think of something unique.....Gucci Mane has come up with not only something unique but also something NO ONE ELSE WOULD EVER WANT

Bart Simpson hanging from your neck makes you match perfectly with the backpacks of 6th graders on the first day of school if they have no friends.

"I know he a NERD", spoken just like Gucci Mane would say it

Post #34

Ghostface Killah; "It's Yourz"

I love him with Root Beer thoughts

Unless you are a character from a Dr. Seuss book or you are talking to a 5 year old then I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

Are Root Beer thoughts the same as Ice Cream feelings and Orange Smiles or do those fall under a different category????

File Under: What is going on, Say Something Real

Post #33

Mike Jones; "Scandalous Hoes"

I watch my back when I'm walkin, I watch my mouth when I'm talkin

I bet you also watch your eyes when your lookin and your ears when your hearin..... there is no point to rapping about this so you should just not say it at all.

File Under: Makes no sense, Don't put this in your song

Post #32

Trina; "Here We Go"

Sounds like, Blah, blah, blah, blah, bla, blah, bla, I'm like uh, huh, uh, huh, okay, okay Whassup, whassup, shut up

When my 6 year old cousins come over for Christmas and argue over their presents they sound 100 times smarter and make better points than Trina does. People that are both blind and deaf are better at having conversations.

File Under: Grow Up, Say a Real Sentence

Post #31

Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg; "Fuck Wit Dre Day"

Gap teeth in ya mouth so my dicks got to fit (Dre)

With my nuts on your tonsils (Snoop)

If anyone ever needed counseling it is going to be the person that this happens to since they are obviously going to be damaged for life.

Snoop Dogg however sounds like the scrawny kid in the back of a gang fight who does absolutely nothing but then once it's over goes "ya and take that" as he walks away.

File Under: Too Graphic, Do not date either of these 2, Turn the other way when they are walking towards you

Post #30

Jay-Z; Blueprint 3 Cover

Here's the new cover for Jay-Z's new album due out in September, it's the first one without his face on it.

Post #29

Redman; "5 Boroughs"

My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh) A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)

Hmmm 5 x 12 = 36, someone apparently never passed elementary math.

File Under: How did no one on the label notice this????

Post #28

Song of Da Munf- August

Sometimes the overall ridiculousness of a song can't be summed up by one quote. These lyrics can be funny, stupid, dirty, outrageous, or maybe even a combination. Regardless the end result is the "Song of Da Munf". Enjoy.

Post #27

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week 2

So just buying toy cars is no longer enough, now Soulja Boy has decided to get a chain made that also doubles as a remote control car, I don't think target is going to be carrying these in stock.

Here's the video of Soulja Boy driving the car in his hotel room

Vrooom Vrooom

Post #26

CunninLynguists; "Filthy Nasty"

"Word to the holes on my socks and my nose full of snot"

It's not cool to give a shoutout to things that you obviously should have taken care of when you got dressed in the morning. The only way you could sound more childish is if you said "word to the girls with cooties and my shorts full of doodies".

File Under: Written in Crayon, When is Naptime

Post #25

Lil Wayne; "Suck it or not Remix"

I'm hot like light

No you are not, learn what words mean before you say them so things such as fast like pizza or smart like scissors do not come out of your mouth in the future.

Your teeth however are bright like light

File Under: Bad analogy, Needs to learn what words mean

Post #24

Eminem; THE WARNING (Mariah Carey Diss)

Eminem released a so called "warning shot" today at Mariah Carey and vows to follow up as long as obsessed gets airplay,

click below for the video

Eminem The Warning

Post #23

Rick Ross; "Speedin"

We own things

So do I, so does my neighbor, even homeless people own something. You are not telling us anything we do not already know.

File Under: Pointless to Say, You seem like everyone else

Post #22

Bizarre-D12; "Fight Music"

You know why my hands are so numb? (No?), Cause my grandmother sucked my dick and I didn't cum

There is really no explanation for how this should ever be brought up or spoken to anyone ever anywhere.....not that it matters anymore but this wouldn't make your hands numb, so take off your steak showercap and stop rapping.

File Under: Did he just really say that!!??

Post #21

Ridiculous Rap Chain Of The Week

So this is some random guy named Skool Boy, yah I know what your thinking you've never heard of him either.....well now at least you know something about him, it's just too bad that all you now know is he really enjoys his Frosted Flakes

This is the only song I could find by him, notice he also has a Captain Crunch cereal box chain so at least he mixes it up a little bit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ikKAkemlB0&feature=related

Post #20

T-Pain; "I'm a Flirt"

Turns out I had to show you guys 2 photos of T-Pain

That's why they call me Teddy-bend-her-ass-down

I guarantee no one has ever called you this and no one will ever call you this...this is exactly why self-appointed nicknames will never work

File Under: Terrible with names, Terrible with picking outfits

Post #19

DJ Gallo- Worst Athlete's Lyrics

As a fan of sports and rap I had to post this; DJ Gallo (a writer from ESPN) just put this up and it chronicles some of the worst word vomit I've ever seen. I could fill about 40 posts from these alone but it's easier and more entertaining to just read them all at once.

Post #18

A Tribe Called Quest; "Scenario"

Bust a nut inside your eye, to show you where I come from

I don't think semen is different where you come from so if you could just even tell us straight up where your from or ANY other option thatd be preferred

File Under: Didn't pass third grade geography or anatomy

Post #17

Juvenile; "Slow Motion"

You Must've heard about them hoes that I beat up in my house

Well before the song I had not, but now that you have let me in on your little secret and told everyone I think that the police will finally be wrapping up that assault case they have been looking into.

File Under: Best informant ever, do not tell Juvenile your secrets

Post #16

Hurricane Chris; "Hand Clap"

They lookin at me crazy cuz I bounce around the club n' I keep clappin my hands like im tryna kill a bug

File Under: Tourettes?

Post #15

Nelly; "Na-NaNa-Na"

Sex in the country, you know sex in the Zoo di-rectly behind the monkeys

Monkeys do not live in the country nor is there a zoo in the country but the fact is that there is not a less romantic place to take a girl than directly behind the monkeys. The only time that you should ever try to have sex with a girl behind the monkeys is......oh wait that should never happen or be an option

File Under: Dirtiest place ever to have sex, Least Romantic date ever

Post #14

Eminem; "My Name Is"

Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up, Flashed the bartender, and stuck my dick in the tip cup

Why are you walking around with only a coat on and nothing else??? And unless that bartender did something to you, your dick is a terrible tip to leave since I assume you will be taking it with you when you get hauled away by the police. Oh and by the way the only people who should ever be naked in strip clubs are the strippers.

File Under: Being a complete dick, Needs to go clothes shopping, Learn how to properly tip

Post #13